I can now reveal that I was a guest at George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin’s secret, star-studded wedding. Here’s what you “normals” missed. Jealous?
8pm - Ceremony.
9pm - Five course banquet provided by Smuckers Uncrustables.
10pm - Groomsmen speeches: Jerry Sandusky, Phil Spector, The…
car - built to spill
Me and my best new bro “Chet”, the frat star who drunkenly passed out the entire 6hr flight and reeked of old cream cheese, Doritos, and stale beer. After this picture was not so stealthy taken the man on the other side of “Chet” handed me a Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet (not before also slipping one into “Chet’s” seat pouch) and told me “maybe this is something you should look into” with a disapproving tone.